The setting: My kitchen, this morning, circa 9:30am
The characters: Me, bagel, coffee, iPod, Apple track jacket, keys, and package of gum in hand; my mother, anxious look on face; Washington Mutual, by proxy.
My mother: We got a call earlier today for “Yohan Roth” asking about fraudulent activity on your credit card.
Me: Unh?
My mother: Do you even have a credit card?
Me: No.
My mother: They left a number.
The number: HI THANK YOU FOR CALLING THE FRAUD LINE.
Me, internally: Unh?
The number: WE ARE CALLING FOR YOLHAIM ROTH. IF THIS IS YOLHAIM ROTH, PRESS 1.
Me: 1
The number: PLEASE VERIFY THE FOLLOWING TRANSACTION. ZERO DOLLARS AND ZERO CENTS, ON OR AROUND SATURDAY JUNE 6. PRESS ONE IF THIS IS AUTHORIZED.
Me: 1
The number: THANK YOU. GOODBYE.
As best I’ve been able to determine, Washington Mutual called my parents at 8:00 in the morning on a Sunday to confirm a transaction that apparently happened some time in the last few days and involved absolutely no money changing hands. Either the person trying to steal my identity is a moron, or my bank is the most inept financial institution in the world this side of the central bank of Zimbabwe. (At least I don’t think Washington Mutual is responsible for 516 quintillion percent inflation rates, but who knows.) Regardless, WaMu is getting a visit tomorrow wherein I’ll be demanding the contents of my account in cash so I can go next door to deposit it at Bank of America via the spiffy cash deposit feature of the ATM.
WaMu has been incredibly inept the past year or so. I’m glad Chase has taken over. Things have run much more smoothly, and Chase’s check reading ATMs are a god send. I hate filling out forms at the ATM. Cash, checks, you name it, it will read it, find the proper amount, and let me be on my own merry way.