Even though I hate internet drama more than just about anything (other than slow walkers; those people are by far the worst), yesterday’s post and the ensuing insanity in the comments has been pretty revelatory.

For a while, I was considering un-publishing the post. This has nothing to do with my position on the subject or the outpouring of support I received (in some instances, from people and places I would have never expected), but rather with the realization that, for all their hate and ignorance, fighting children is unfair. However objectionable I find what they’re saying — and don’t mistake my placidity for a lack of caring — these sorts of things have potential to affect their lives in ways that, at age 17, they can’t possibly imagine. The people making college admissions decisions for these kids know how to use Google. The people who will be giving (or not giving) them internships in college know how to use Google. And I’m absolutely certain that the human resources staff who will be running background checks on them when they apply for jobs know how to use Google.

While there are still people in this country who condone (or even applaud) hate speech, there’s going to come a day when calling someone a faggot is taken as seriously as it ought to be. And that’s going to be the day when calling someone a faggot on Facebook comes back to haunt John Manov.

But this isn’t, as someone suggested, an issue of me exacting revenge, and that’s why I’m not taking down the post. I think that there are much bigger issues here — issues of how queerness is approached in high school — that make this particular problem relevant.

I had a nightmare last night about a situation in which one of these kids’ parents, having more foresight than their progeny, try to get me to take down my post, classifying it as libel against their children. It’s not outside of the realm of possibility. Moreover, even though I’m an adult, I’m certain that my parents would, at some point, become involved, a horrific scenario in which my mother — already worried about the swastikas I saw in a Wadham College bathroom this week — would tear her hair out over the thought of someone making fun of her gay son.

If this were about me and John Manov (who, I now remember, I got in trouble for calling me a faggot, even then), or me and the Atlantic High School debate team (who apparently I let down in a colossal way by having the audacity to be occupied with other things than coaching my senior year), I wouldn’t be bothered with it. But it’s shit like this that makes it so impossibly difficult to be gay in high school, and that’s where the real issue is.

I came out my freshman year of high school to everyone but my family. As such, I had a lot of time to develop a thick skin about my homosexuality. Thick skin or not, though, a number of my greatest regrets in life pertain to not being willing to stand up for my own rights in high school. That’s what this post serves to combat.

People like John Manov aren’t malicious in their own right. I think no one should be subjected to verbal harassment on the grounds of their sexual orientation, but: sticks and stones. What is damaging about people like him, though, is that they try to scare people away from saying and doing what is right. Figuring out one’s sexuality is difficult enough; coming out is doubly more challenging, especially when there’s vitriolic homophobes waiting to make you miserable as soon as you do. Moreover, having the courage to fight back against these people in an environment that’s largely unreceptive to attempts to do so is harder still.

So, in the name of queer high schoolers everywhere: John Manov is a homophobe. His friends who laugh at his jokes are homophobes. They deserve their fates. And every time someone visits this blog, they’re helping give it to them.